Give Fetch Some Sugar, Baby – He’s Earned It

By Joe Budzinski

Well faster than you can say “Klaatu Barada Nikto,” we’ve unearthed the back story for that curious image LI posted of the Loudoun Hounds’ irresistible mascot.

What appears at first glance to be a woebegone costumed laborer suffering a seizure in a reclamation ditch, in reality captures the moment of triumph for the fabric of our existence itself.

Not long ago, it turns out, that spot was a portal to an ancient demonic realm from which proceeded all manner of evil – and just prior to the snapping of the photo, here was the cosmic collision in that very depression between Route 7 and the Loudoun County Parkway:

Fetch repels evil from One Loudoun

Fetch gives "NIMBY" a new meaning

Much like “Ash” of Evil Dead fame, it was “Fetch” who stood in that godforsaken pocket of land and fought them all back to whence they came.

So while some may be tempted to guffaw at the Facebook entry for the photo – “Check out Fetch marking his territory on the future field for The Hounds!” – before you scratch your head and wonder what the hell kind of marketing message that is supposed to convey, sit back and breath a word of appropriate thanks to ol’ Fetch, for how he saved us from the vortex, and shall surely save us again.



  • Smith says:

    This post sounds like it was written by a lunatic who likes to use big words, while not really saying anything.

    Oh wait, its Joe B.

    Reading this makes my brain hurt.


  • Loudoun Insider says:

    This post is hilarious, and the work-in of Evil Dead warms my heart!

  • Barbara Munsey says:

    Smith, everyone’s been telling Repubs to get with the program since the election–maybe Joe is studying at the feet of masters?

    He may be on to something–can the polarity of the vortex be reversed, allowing more unicorns in to fix everything? (Joe, are you blowing a national security plan here with that? Bad Joe!)

  • Joe Budzinski says:

    Good Gentleman Smith! How fine of you to stop by and share your wisdom. My the air is brisk here in the East. How goes it on the Isle of Man?

    I’ve reviewed your papers for immigration application and all that is required is a bit more detail on your next educational plans, which as I am sure you know factor into any decision re: visa or, eventually, citizenship. We’ve input your emotional and intelligence profile from the tests into our careers database and found what appears to be a close match. Please simply provide the completed paperwork with your reply.

  • edmundburkenator says:

    Any Evil Dead reference gets two thumbs up! Ash may be the guy in the costume…

  • Jay Hughes says:

    Shop “smart”! Shop….S-Mart!!! LOL

  • BlackOut says:

    This post is one of the reasons I enjoy TC. Joe, thanks for the chuckle this morning I needed it.

  • BlackOut says:

    “Clowning Arts”? Was that in your bookmarks or did you have to use the googler?

  • Joe Budzinski says:

    Those who seek the way of the clown must always have their eyes wide open, their nose to the grindstone, and their big floppy shoes on the straight and narrow path.

  • Linda B says:

    Loudoun One: Northern Virginia’s very own Hellmouth.

  • Shawn Pickrell says:

    He didn’t hitch a ride here on the Tardis, did he?

  • Leej says:

    no matter how this plays out . baseball would or will be good for loudoun. this no more on how to finance something and is whatever financing worth it on both sides . but as a guy baseball is a great sport but somewhat dull. 😉 you need something to prop it up in loudoun financially. if not NO baseball

  • Independent voter says:

    I am all for a stadium in Loudoun but do we need it next to One Loudoun, supposedly a Reston Town Center look-alike? And do we need all the additional traffic on already gridlocked Route 7 and 28? I can’t imagine how much longer it is going to add to my commute. Are the developers of One Loudoun/stadium paying for infrastructure to accommodate all the fans’ vehicles?

  • Leej says:

    who ever designed fetch made fetch look like some creep I am trying make light of this fetch does look creepy 😉

  • Wolverine says:

    Now, Leej, you are no position to talk about the looks of our Loudoun mascot. At least he isn’t that silly Houston Astros rabbit named Junction Jack, to be replaced this year by some resurrected green furball with baseball antennae called “Orbit.”

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